As I wrote the title for this blog I was drawn to use an analogy with which most of us are familiar, without fully understanding why and what my point would be. In 1915 it was the American writer Elbert Hubbard who is accredited with saying that:
‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade’
In doing so, Hubbard was suggesting that when we are faced with adversity we should seek ways to turn a negative into a positive. This sentiment is not one I am inclined to argue with and something that I have sought to apply throughout my life. However, existing in more modern times is a considerably different prospect to that experienced by people living in the early 1900’s. This is aptly encapsulated by another ‘lemonade’ quote coming this time from Alfred Newman, who offers us a perspective which acknowledges these difficulties.
‘We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavours and furniture polish is made from real lemons’
This made me consider, not another quote, but rather a colloquialism about our ability to tell the difference between shit and Shinola. A phrase which originated in 1940’s America, it was used to describe those thought to possess less than good judgement and who were of limited knowledge, especially when it came to what to polish your shoes with. For me, this begs the question of why we even bother to polish our shoes at all if everything is no longer as it appears to be?
Despite agreeing with the premise of turning a negative into a positive, modern day illusions do not always make this as straightforward to achieve as you might think. Whilst it is true that lemons in all their sunny yellowness exude much potential for optimism on the outside, it is also a fruit that can often impart a flavour that is tart and unpalatable. They do not always guarantee a refreshing glass of lemonade.
This summer for instance, has given me mostly gnarled budget range lemons that even a glass of gin and tonic would have evicted tout d’suite. These citric challenges have included the loss of a much-loved family member and the very real threat of losing another. It is not easy to concentrate on the zest for life in either of these scenario’s. I suppose what I have learned is that sometimes when life serves you lemons, dependent on the quality of them your lemonade will either taste like shit, Shinola or if you are lucky a half decent drink. Either way, sometimes the results we strive for are out of our hands no matter how industrious our endeavours
When Kenny died in 2014 I couldn’t have imagined a more bitter lemon than the one I was handed then, but I simply sliced it up and dunked into the many glasses of vodka I drank to blot out the horror. It wasn’t perhaps, the most positive thing I could have done and something to which my besieged liver will no doubt attest. It was symbolic, however, of my desire, conscious or otherwise, to create something out of nothing despite the many missed-steps I took to achieve it. As readers of my The Funny Thing About Being a widow? books will already know, I did go on to find that there were many positive things still left for me to discover during the 10 years since Kenny’s death and for this I remain grateful every single day.
I am still being given lemons that are not always the fragrant additions to my life I would like them to be, but this is fine because even the most putrid of them are useful for creating compost and good things can grow from shit. I am optimistic that the quality of my lemons going forward will be better than of late as the green shoots of recovery are far more evident than they have been thus far this year. I think another quote is an appropriate way to end this short debate concerning the meaning of the ‘When life gives you lemons’ analogy and neatly sums up my prevailing attitude based upon a preponderance of the evidence, as if this was ever in any real doubt!
‘If life gives you lemons don’t settle for simply making lemonade, make a glorious scene at a lemonade stand’
Elizabeth Gilbert